Top 10 Possible Uses for Baby Poopie!

I know what a disgusting topic right? I would normally agree with you but after changing many a poopie diaper in my life as Mr. Mom I have considered the alternative uses for this stuff rather than merely throwing them away. Here is the list I came up with...

10) Construction: In Cam's case if you could somehow get rid of the smell (obviously) his poopie might just relieve the shortage of cement that the country is suffering now.

9) Sports: Rules of the new game? Get rid of the poopie before becoming overwhelmed and needing resuscitation from the smell. The team with the most players still conscious wins. Who knows maybe this will become a new Olympic sport as well.

8) New adhesive: Perhaps we have finally found an alternative to super glue! This stuff after all sticks to his bottom like nothing I have ever seen!

7) Energy source: If you could only harness the energy it takes him to squeeze out the poopie you would have cheap, clean (sort of) energy for the whole world.

6) Military applications: Forget nuclear warheads and scud missiles! One of these babies could clear an entire city while leaving the buildings intact!

5) Automotive: Surely there must be a way to derive a fuel source from this stuff. After all, Cam seems to have more energy after he’s made a poopie. He sure does seem to be a lot harder to catch after he’s done. Need octane boost to increase performance? Who needs octane boost when you have poopie boost?

4) Law enforcement: Forget the tear gas and riot gear. One of these poopie diapers hurled at an unruly crowd and you have instant cooperation.

3) Pest control: I don’t know about you but I sure as heck would clear out of the house if I smelled one of these! Plus which fact, the smell of poopie can permeate faster and more efficiently than most pesticides I’ve used in the past.

2) Ending the war in Iraq: Yep you drop a couple of these babies on select targets and I guarantee that any terrorist group or warring faction will surrender immediately!

1) Unwelcome guests: You’ll never see your least favorite relatives, salespeople or Jehovah’s Witnesses spring for the door faster in your life. Guaranteed to clear them out in 30 seconds or less.

All right I’m finished with my disgusting post! You can all stop wrinkling up your noses in horror now. Chalk it up to a warped sense of humor and my slightly demented wife’s suggestion.