Top 10 ways to know that you are a BAD driver!

10) Your insurance agent sends you an invitation to a house warming party for their brand new home. The card also states that he/she couldn't have done it without you!

9) Your picture is posted as employee of the month at the local repair shop.

8) Car manufacturers use you to test the safety of new designs rather than the usual crash test dummies.

7) A special question is added to the driver’s license exam which asks how one would safely navigate past your vehicle.

6) Your car insurance premiums oddly resemble the national deficit.

5) The deer have signs up warning them that you may be crossing their path.

4) MAACO has just invited you to be their national spokesperson.

3) Emergency vehicles pull off the road to let you pass.

2) You have been refused as the designated driver more than once.

And finally the number 1 way to know that you are a bad driver is…The 2007 vehicles are coming out with pre-dented fenders in your honor.

Snail Trails and Puppy Tails

That's what Mr. Moms are made of... The daily activity first thing in the morning is for us to wait on the bed for mom to get ready. He likes to kneel against me and play on my stomach. (This gives me another good reason to decrease the size of his “play table”) Well while he played this morning he figured "Hmm why stop playing and have my nose wiped when I have a perfect hanky right here?" Hence the snail trails on daddy’s clean shirt. I'm actually thinking of designing a line of clothing with snail trails as part of the fabric design. This way moms and Mr. moms alike won't have to try and explain the strange marks all over their clothing. What do you think? The puppy tails comes into play because my twelve pound Shih Tzu has decided he must have missed his calling in life as a parrot and has to either sit on my shoulder, on my chest, or most of the time he tries to sit on my head!

Oh I almost forgot, for you dieters out there I have a new way to knock off a few calories from evil things like Burritos. It involves having a 10 month old and a puppy who beg bites from you the entire time you are eating. Trust me, this diet plan works! I figure I knocked off more than a few calories by simply siphoning off some bites to one and then the other. I'm a great dad aren't I? Giving my son such a healthy breakfast as that! Boy I should be up for an award! :) Don't worry I gave him some fruit afterward for you health nuts out there who are wondering what an aneurism feels like!

Be sure to watch for the top 10 list later this week! I need some input...Top 10 possible industrial uses for baby poopy or Top 10 ways to know you are a bad driver? Which one? Or if you have another idea I'm open for suggestions.