My Wife, My Counselor

Of course we all know that husbands and wives should always counsel together in all things but, for me, there has never been any question as to whom I will go to discuss both the woes and joys of life. The wonderful thing about Rachelle is that she never makes me feel inadequate or foolish no matter how ridiculous my complaint may be. She does a much better job of counseling with me than I do counseling with her. As most typical males tend to do, I often am thinking of solutions for the problem being described rather than listening intently to more fully understand the problem.

My wife is not only my counselor but she counsels with many others as well. She is always willing to bear another’s burdens and listen empathetically as they vent their frustrations. She is very compassionate of others and their plight. She will frequently forgo her own (infrequent) free time to talk to someone (whether online, or in person). She naturally possesses the qualities that many of us have to strive to obtain. Of my wife and counselor I can only say...I am blessed everyday to have her as a part of me and a part of my life.

My Life Monday - The Beginning of My Love Week

What a perfect topic for the week! This week, since Valentines Day is coming up, I hope to paint an accurate picture of what makes my wife so special. Come along with me as I pay a seven-day tribute to the woman who means everything to me. Each day I will talk about a different role that she plays in my life. The roles of: companion, counselor, teacher, editor, lover, supporter, and best friend, will all be examined (one per day) until the portrait of this amazing woman is accurately portrayed to the world.

The role of companion is not an easy role by any stretch. The role that Rachelle plays in this regard comes with a huge amount of emotional and financial baggage that must be carried and dealt with. Let us digress from present circumstances for a moment and discover how this companionship came about.

About six and a half years ago I returned to this town with great difficulty. After all, who wants to return to the place where life, as they knew it, fell apart? I was in the middle of a rather nasty divorce and the rumors in this small community were flying like swarms of mosquito's flitting from one group of acquaintances to another. The only thing keeping me going was the fact that I knew in my heart that this was the right thing to do. My sons needed their father and I needed my sons. I was feeling very much alone at that point in my life. After all, to be LDS and divorced is like being Amish having a plasma screen TV

It was amazing to me that once I made the decision to return to this little community, everything just seemed to fall into place to allow me to do just that! The company that I worked for was downsizing their Salt Lake office so instead of having to quit that company I got a nice severance package which allowed me to immediately move back out here. I found an apartment and family helped me move my meager belongings back to the place of so many bad memories. In spite of my reservations, however, being closer to my sons was a definite joy for me. I now had the opportunity to not only spend more time with them but be more of an influence in their lives.

Now let us move forward a few months...

I was then officially divorced (and feeling very much like the 72 Pinto with a gas leak). I had just started going to institute classes and to the singles activities but I still felt like I needed a big L painted on my forehead for LOSER. It was at one such activity that I met her...the most wonderful woman I know. We hit off a friendship right away it was like we had never been apart (I know that sound cliche but it's true). She and I and several of our friends always hung out together. I was still very much gun-shy from my previous experience but it was wonderful to have friends and not feel alone anymore.

We started a Family Home Evening group and our friendships were even closer than before. Rachelle and I were viewed as the Mom and Dad of the group as we did most of the planning of activities and lessons. I was starting to have feelings for Rachelle but still very much in denial about these feelings. I'm sure she could tell you quite a few stories about the many times I broke her heart as I struggled with my own feelings of inadequacy and fear but that is not what I want to focus on.

The turning point for our relationship began with a tragedy. The day began as a wonderful fun time with our group. We went hiking and had water fights and explored small caverns all in all it was a good day. The few of us that had recommends decided to go to the Temple that evening. It was a very special experience, which is too personal for me to share here. After going to the Temple we were heading to our cars to go back to Rachelle's and watch a movie or two. In the parking lot a car was waiting, I thought maybe it was someone who needed directions or something, but in fact it was my ex-brother-in-law. I noticed the grave look on his face and my heart began to sink rapidly. He said, "There's been an accident...your younger son drowned today." My mind reeled, my body went limp I could neither fathom what was being expressed to me nor did I hear much after that. I remember vaguely being half carried back to find my mother, who was working in the Temple that night.

What happened afterward is that I began to see Rachelle in a completely different light. She was my strength during this time. She rallied my friends around me and she made sure I ate and that my laundry was done. When I got down, she was the first person I called to talk with and vent to. She gave many prayers on my behalf and many heartfelt condolences and she shed empathetic tears.

Even after all she had done for me, however, I was still very fearful of entering into another committed relationship. So I had to be hit with what she called thereafter "my spiritual two by four". Trust me you don't want one of these! I was at a training to prepare me for a test for my job, the last thing I remember was that the video the instructor was preparing to show us was very fuzzy. The next thing I knew was that I was waking up on the floor with the instructor peering over me and asking me my name. I had just experienced what doctors refer to as a Grand Mal Seizure. I guess I convulsed on the floor for about 12 to 15 minutes while those in the class were watching me in horror.

Needless to say that after a seizure like that they don't let you drive for a few months afterward. Strange huh? What did Rachelle do in this crisis? She organized rides for me every single day and she herself chauffeured me around like a celebrity when she wasn't working. When I needed to go to SLC to a specialist to determine the cause of the seizure it was Rachelle, not my family, that took time off of work to drive me to SLC and back.

Well the two by four worked! I finally realized that a woman, who would do all of those things for me without expecting anything in return, was the woman that I wanted to marry. Since that time I have never forgotten the ways in which she cared for me and watched out for me. I have tried to be there for her at times of trial in her life, such as our struggle with infertility and our relationship has blossomed in ways I could never have imagined possible. I look at our family now and realize what a blessing our times of difficulty have turned out to be. I know I never would have found a more wonderful companion.

What more could anyone ask in a companion but one who is willing, ready, and able to endure with you through both the pleasant times and the disastrous times as well. Companion, as defined by Wiktionary is: "a friend, acquaintance, or partner; someone with whom one spends time or keeps company. I propose that a companion is so much more than this. A companion, a true companion goes beyond what normal acquaintances or even friends are able to withstand. A companion, especially my companion is the rock upon which I will continue to build my life, in whom I entrust all of my love, and with whom I will strive to spend eternity with.

Accio Book 7!

I can hardly contain my anticipation for this book, which promises to answer many questions that fans’ everywhere have been dying to know. I must say that I am glad that the release date is the 21st rather than the original speculated date of the 7th (this speculation largely due to the fact that this is the seventh book so the release date of 7-7-07 would seem apropos). This fact will keep me well out of the doghouse since my wife would (lovingly) impale my head on a lance if I stood in line at midnight on the 7th (our anniversary)! So...you Potter fans out there (you know who you are) what questions do you hope will be answered? To start us off, here are a few of my own questions:

1. Who is RAB? (My speculation is Regulus Black but what is his middle name?)

2. What significant information is Aunt Petunia quietly concealing about her knowledge of the wizard world? (We know she is not a witch nor is she a squib but she is hiding something.)

3. What spell did Severus Snape actually cast that night at the top of the tower? (If you read through all of the other books you will quickly discover that Avada Kadavra does not blast its’ victim off their feet.)

4. Will Harry have to employ the use of an Unforgivable Curse to destroy Voldemort?

These are just a few of the questions I would like to know. Post your thoughts and questions and we will create a mini-forum here.

My Life Monday

Attention Mark, your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to name all of your Pet Peeves without sounding like a grumpy old man...(cue mission impossible music)

1) First on my list would have to be crazy drivers! If you are not sure if you qualify for this category or not please refer to my previous post: 10 Ways to know if you are a bad driver.

2) I also find myself completely irked if someone, who is not handicapped, proceeds to park in a handicapped parking spot.

3) Certain redneck phraseologies such as: "ain't got no", "we was going", "my ole lady", and one word faux pas such as "huntin", "fishin", and "campin".

4) Those parents out there, they know who they are, that refer to taking care of their own children as "babysitting".

5) Imitation Monster Trucks! You know the one’s I’m talking about! These are the trucks that you can drive your car under. They are usually old model trucks with huge tires and body parts from several different color vehicles.

6) "Here’s your sign" questions! If you are foolish enough to use one of these questions around me be prepared for my witty retort! My favorite questions are when people call a store to see if they are open. I usually get these calls on Sunday and on certain holidays. My answer to these questions is always the same
Caller: "I was just wondering whether you guys were open today"
Mark: "Nope! I just got bored so I came down here to answer phones!"
Often the caller will respond with "Oh really?" I then have the opportunity to laugh twice!

These are just a few of many Pet Peeves for me. I’m sure I’ll think of more as I go to work later today!

Poignant Thoughts and Reflections

As I reflect upon my life anew with my loving wife and adorable little boy I am reminded of the trials and adversity which created this loving family. Since many of you don't know the story I will summarize the trials which turned into blessings for this family...

About six and a half years ago I returned to this town with great difficulty. After all, who wants to return to the place where life, as they knew it, fell apart? I was in the middle of a rather nasty divorce and the rumors in this small community were flying like swarms of mosquito's flitting from one group of acquaintances to another. The only thing keeping me going was the fact that I knew in my heart that this was the right thing to do. My sons needed their father and I needed my sons. I was feeling very much alone at that point in my life. After all, to be LDS and divorced is like being Amish having a plasma screen T.V.

It was amazing to me that once I made the decision to return to this little community, everything just seemed to fall into place to allow me to do just that! The company that I worked for was downsizing their Salt Lake office so instead of having to quit that company I got a nice severance package which allowed me to immediately move back out here. I found an apartment and family helped me move my meager belongings back to the place of so many bad memories. In spite of my reservations, however, being closer to my sons was a definite joy for me. I now had the opportunity to not only spend more time with them but be more of an influence in their lives.

Now let us move forward a few months...

I was then officially divorced (and feeling very much like the 72 Pinto with a gas leak). I had just started going to institute classes and to the singles activities but I still felt like I needed a big L painted on my forehead for LOOSER. It was at one such activity that I met her...the most wonderful woman I know. We hit off a friendship right away it was like we had never been apart (I know that sound cliche but it's true). She and I and several of our friends always hung out together. I was still very much gunshy from my previous experience but it was wonderful to have friends and not feel alone anymore.

We started a Family Home Evening group and our friendships were even closer than before. Rachelle and I were viewed as the Mom and Dad of the group as we did most of the planning of activities and lessons. I was starting to have feelings for Rachelle but still very much in denial about these feelings. I'm sure she could tell you quite a few stories about the many times I broke her heart as I struggled with my own feelings of inadequacy and fear but that is not what I want to focus on.

The turning point for our relationship began with a tragedy. The day began as a wonderful fun time with our group. We went hiking and had water fights and explored small caverns all in all it was a good day. The few of us that had recommends decided to go to the Temple that evening. It was a very special experience which is too personal for me to share here. After going to the Temple we were heading to our cars to go back to Rachelle's and watch a movie or two. In the parking lot a car was waiting, I thought maybe it was someone who needed directions or something, but in fact it was my ex-brother-in-law. I noticed the grave look on his face and my heart began to sink rapidly. He said "There's been an accident...your younger son drowned today." My mind reeled, my body went limp I could not fathom what was being expressed to me nor did I hear much after that. I remember vaguely being half carried back to find my mother who was working in the Temple that night.

What happened afterward is that I began to see Rachelle in a completely different light. She was my strength during this time. She rallied my friends around me and she made sure I ate and that my laundry was done. When I got down, she was the first person I called to talk with and vent to. Many prayers were given by her on my behalf and many heartfelt condolences and empathetic tears were shed by her.

Even after all she had done for me, however, I was still very fearful of entering into another committed relationship. So I had to be hit with what she called thereafter "my spiritual two by four". Trust me you don't want one of these! I was at a training to prepare me for a test for my job, the last thing I remember was that the video the instructor was preparing to show us was very fuzzy. The next thing I knew was that I was waking up on the floor with the instructor peering over me and asking me my name. I had just experienced what doctors refer to as a Grand Mal Seizure. I guess I convulsed on the floor for about 12 to 15 minutes while those in the class were watching me in horror.

Needless to say that after a seizure like that they don't let you drive for a few months afterward. Strange huh? What did Rachelle do in this crisis? She organized rides for me every single day and she herself chauffeured me around like a celebrity when she wasn't working. When I needed to go to SLC to a specialist to determine the cause of the seizure it was Rachelle, not my family, that took time off of work to drive me to SLC and back.

Well the two by four worked! I finally realized that a woman who would do all of those things for me without expecting anything in return, was the woman that I wanted to marry. Since that time I have never forgotten the ways in which she cared for me and watched out for me. I have tried to be there for her at times of trial in her life such as our struggle with infertility and our relationship has blossomed in ways I could never have imagined possible. I look at our family now and realize what a blessing our times of difficulty have turned out to be. I know I never would have found a more wonderful companion, friend, confidant, and lover than I have now without these trials.

Top 10 Possible Uses for Baby Poopie!

I know what a disgusting topic right? I would normally agree with you but after changing many a poopie diaper in my life as Mr. Mom I have considered the alternative uses for this stuff rather than merely throwing them away. Here is the list I came up with...

10) Construction: In Cam's case if you could somehow get rid of the smell (obviously) his poopie might just relieve the shortage of cement that the country is suffering now.

9) Sports: Rules of the new game? Get rid of the poopie before becoming overwhelmed and needing resuscitation from the smell. The team with the most players still conscious wins. Who knows maybe this will become a new Olympic sport as well.

8) New adhesive: Perhaps we have finally found an alternative to super glue! This stuff after all sticks to his bottom like nothing I have ever seen!

7) Energy source: If you could only harness the energy it takes him to squeeze out the poopie you would have cheap, clean (sort of) energy for the whole world.

6) Military applications: Forget nuclear warheads and scud missiles! One of these babies could clear an entire city while leaving the buildings intact!

5) Automotive: Surely there must be a way to derive a fuel source from this stuff. After all, Cam seems to have more energy after he’s made a poopie. He sure does seem to be a lot harder to catch after he’s done. Need octane boost to increase performance? Who needs octane boost when you have poopie boost?

4) Law enforcement: Forget the tear gas and riot gear. One of these poopie diapers hurled at an unruly crowd and you have instant cooperation.

3) Pest control: I don’t know about you but I sure as heck would clear out of the house if I smelled one of these! Plus which fact, the smell of poopie can permeate faster and more efficiently than most pesticides I’ve used in the past.

2) Ending the war in Iraq: Yep you drop a couple of these babies on select targets and I guarantee that any terrorist group or warring faction will surrender immediately!

1) Unwelcome guests: You’ll never see your least favorite relatives, salespeople or Jehovah’s Witnesses spring for the door faster in your life. Guaranteed to clear them out in 30 seconds or less.

All right I’m finished with my disgusting post! You can all stop wrinkling up your noses in horror now. Chalk it up to a warped sense of humor and my slightly demented wife’s suggestion.

Top 10 signs that you are obsessed with Harry Potter

10) You have thought about naming your children one of the following: Sirius, Harry, Hermione, Remus, Minerva or Albus.

9) You have ever mumbled "Avada Kadavra" or "Crucio" under your breath when someone annoys you.

8) Your spouse has ever caught you saying "Up" to that Wal-Mart special broom that you own.

7) You have ever seriously considered buying any of the Noble Collection merchandise.

6) You have a fully functional Dementors costume hanging in your closet right now.

5) You have in your possession or have ever wanted a bumper sticker stating either that "My other vehicle is a Firebolt" or "If you can read this then...Avada Kadavra!"

4) You have ever referred to your boss or other authority figure as "The Dark Lord"

3) The words spew, owl, newt and D.A. have totally different meanings in your mind.

2) Your spouse catches you using her eye-liner to draw a lightning bolt scar on your own son's forehead.

And finally the number 1 sign that you are obsessed with Harry Potter is... You have the date of March 7th marked on your calendar and remind your spouse everyday of the number of days left to the release of Goblet of Fire on DVD.

Yes I am guilty myself to many of these so don't be shy to let me know if you find yourself relating to many of these signs as well. If you dare, let me know which ones you or your spouse are guilty of and we will compare them this weekend.